30 day challenge – day 1

I have started started strategizing about actively working toward some long term goals that i’ve had on 43 Things for forever and am transferring my most important goals to my Pinterest. One of these goals is to write more, which i probably should outline more in the near future but am currently just plunging into. I found a list of meme prompts on Pinterest and have decided to work on them during the month of April.  So, without further ado, Day 1:

Your current relationship, if single discuss how single life is.

I don’t have any current relationships and haven’t had one in six years.  I did most of the pursuing in that instance and it ended badly, but perhaps another time (or you could dig through my LJ posts on the matter).

To a certain extent, i do okay as a singleton.  Even if i was in a relationship i think i could handle a long distance relationship such as my parents periodically had.  Dad was in the Army, then National Guard, then Air Force Guard, and would take two week trips around the country and world, both military and work related.  Absence makes the heart grow fonder, my Dad gets clingy, my Mom enjoys a little break from married life.

My own upbringing was to be very self sufficient, so i would be relatively okay living alone i think.  The biggest thing that i can’t do myself is fix a car (Dad tried to teach me, i was hopeless at it).  I know how to assemble furniture, sew, cook, clean, wash, etc.  I’m an adult, i can do things alone if needs must.

I don’t like being completely alone.  I hate eating alone at restaurants, i would prefer to travel with someone i get on well with, i like laughing with someone, i want to feel as if i’m with someone in a crowd or large group. I hate being single even as it’s the only thing i really know.  Sometimes i wonder if i would actually hate being in a couple, but i have no real way of knowing, my only “dating” relationship was far from conventional.

But the truth is that i loved midnight text sessions and talking about anything and everything. Being in a relationship gave me hope, having a good crush will do that, too, even if it’s a completely one-sided affair.  I long for (chaste levels of) PDA, for holding hands on long walks, for casual caresses, shared experiences, and being lost in kisses (something i’ve never lost myself in).  But i mostly want a strong marriage built on faith and friendship and many different types of love, for cuddles and sex and working side by side.  I have no patience for casual dating and no interested in pre-marrital sex.  I want the long-term commitment.  I’m just waiting for the right guy to come along.

That’s about it, i guess.

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