I have a strange history with bacon. When i was a child, i didn’t really care for it. This is probably because my mother likes to make it crispy, like her mother before her, and i prefer bacon (and most meats) on the barely-done limp side.
No, i’m not afraid of food poisoning. I’ve got a stomach of iron, i don’t know that i’ve ever gotten food poisoning… maybe twice in my entire life. I’m much more likely to have an issue with the food i ate coming out too hot, but that was probably TMI. (i grew up in Arizona, i like spicy foods)
When i was a kid, i remember enjoying the Beggin’ Strips commercials. I liked lots of commercials, i didn’t fastforward our home-recorded videos and watched them again and again because i enjoyed them. Things have changed; i don’t watch many commercials anymore.
Even though bacon wasn’t, ham was a big deal for me growing up. It was my favorite meat after pepperoni probably. I loved pizza, and ham is one thing that i don’t like on pizza (probably because it always seems to come with pineapple, one of my top 5 most hated foods). But i love ham steaks, honey ham roasts, ham in beans, ham on sandwiches, i could go on. Now i put bacon on my sandwiches. I don’t eat a lot of BLTs and i’m not sure why, except for the fact that i don’t eat Mayo anymore and bacon takes time to cook and i’m always in too big of a hurry to cook. It wasn’t until recently that i discovered that bacon is pretty good on pizza, too, as long as they don’t let the pizza get too greasy. So sometimes i’ll go to Little Caesars for a Three Meat, but that can be hit or miss. It alternates between being too crunchy and too greasy.
As an adult, the foods that i love to pair bacon with the most are beef, avocado, onions, lettuce, and a bun. I love bacon guacamole burgers. I even like bacon guac cheeseburgers, preferably with Pepper Jack. I usually don’t do cheese on my burger, but that combination right there is so good. I occasionally splurge at Carl’s Jr./Hardees every once in a long while. They can hold the Santa Fe sauce, but give me that thick guac and huge 1/3 pound patty and that’s two meals for me right there. This is a great indulgence for me, that happens less than once a month, i promise.
I’m not sure when i became aware of the current bacon craze. I probably saw it on ThinkGeek first. I’m not quite on the bandwagon. I don’t own a bacon t-shirt, or duct tape, or jewelry. But i’ve thought about buying all of the above. They amuse me, i’m just not sure that i want to make bacon part of my wardrobe. Bacon goes in your mouth, not on your body.
My favorite way to eat bacon lately is to buy bacon jerky. I am pretty strict about what jerky i allow myself to eat, it can’t have MSG, and i don’t like sweet jerky such as teriyaki. I usually buy peppered, and that’s it, but when Oberto’s Bacon Jerky showed up at my local Target and CityMarket i knew that i had to try it. And it is really good, let me tell you. The real struggle is to not eat the entire package alone in one sitting. It’s sweeter than the jerkies i usually buy, but not too sweet. There’s some crispier pieces in these bags, but not too crispy (i.e. singed).
I will admit, however, that the fact that they feel the need to label it “100% REAL BACON” leaves me a bit worried. There’s no need to yell at me, and it’s only going to make me less likely to believe you.
I’m just now starting to realize that it may seem incredibly odd for a fat girl to be talking about how much she loves bacon. I don’t know when i fell in love with it, but i did. To be perfectly honest, i don’t eat bacon all that often. I don’t eat it every day, or even every week. But i tend to crave it at random times. I crave red meat after lifting weights; i can’t predict when the desire for bacon will hit me. When i crave chocolate i can probably get away with only eating one or two bites, and that will satiate my craving. With bacon i want it all. I eat it in moderation if i must, but in large quantities when i can get it. And that tends to be problematic, restraining one’s self from eating the entire slab of bacon in one sitting. Bacon isn’t particularly filling in and of itself after all. I feel less guilty about indulging when i’ve invested in uncured bacon. My mom waits for it to go on sale and buys a whole stack of packages for a month of Sunday breakfasts.
Of course, you haven’t had bacon until you had it homegrown. A couple of my sisters have entered pigs in the fair with the 4-H program, and let me tell you that the thicker, less fatty, non-commercial variety of bacon is even better than traditional store bought bacon. I know people tend to be squeamish about this…”How can you kill your pet???” is a typical cry. But these pigs aren’t pets, they get pretty big if you know how to feed them. They are stubborn, and they have a better life, and the meat is better for you. I’m thinking if they were more free range and less forced feeding they would probably taste even better, but the 4-H program likes to bulk them up. Not that i know all that much about it, i never got to show animals at the fair. I just know that growing your own food is preferable to certain meat industry practices and that your freezer won’t be overflowing with 4-H pig for too long…you’ll be eating it all the time. Bacon, pork chops, ham, oh so good.
Right now you might be wondering what prompted this long meandering about a simple, fatty slice of meat. You might be wondering if eating pig is against my faith (it’s not). I’m basically writing this because someone told me not to, in a roundabout way. No, tthey weren’t speaking directly to me, but as an aspiring author and non-PC conservative leaning libertarian i must protest when:
Why should i care about offending Muslims? I am not offended when women choose to wear a veil, have the chance to be educated, and pray to their god. I am even intrigued by their Ramadan traditions. I am not offended because people believe differently than i do…unless they try to impose their beliefs on me. This may sound ironic to an atheist, but i am talking about reality here, not some fanciful version of Christians who believe that everyone should be forced to follow the Bible whether they believe it or not. That is not what the Bible teaches, it is putting the cart before the horse, and everything that Christianity is about is free choice. No one is supposed to be forced to believe in any religion. So it does offend me to suggest that they will be offended by what i eat in my own home (or car…i usually eat burgers in the car) and that should cause me to either change the way i eat and/or live in fear. What i am rejecting is this idea that placating Muslims is going to solve anything. How is that working for them over in Israel? France? Britain? Not so well. And i believe the Limbaugh line that it never will, not because i’m a mindless hatemonger, but because i actually study history.
I’m not technically renaming this blog, but i was just struck by how the ~ looks kind of like a strip of bacon. My former idea for this blog was one word that had many different meanings and uses to draw from, to mean many things simultaneously. A symbol is even more suited to that purpose i suppose. So tonight the title of my blog means bacon. It is also is me sticking my tongue out.